Photography and Mental Health

August 21, 2022

Photography and Mental Health

I'm one of those ridiculous people with too many hobbies. I often refer to myself as a jack of all trades, master of none. The great thing about my hobbies, though, is that they help me through the dark times in my life. When I'm dealing with depression I draw, paint, and write poetry. When I'm dealing with anxiety, I take photos and make collages out of random scaps of paper, old magazines and junk mail. But I never stick with one thing for long enough to really master it.

Local graffiti, Coolum Beach

It used to be easier to throw myself into learning, and at least being to master some skill. I have a toddler now, and many things I used to enjoy (like spending 7 hours on a watercolour painting) aren't possible anymore. I literally don't have the time. My desk in routinely covered in junk every week, and reset most weekends, though I rarely use it. So I have to find other things to bring me joy.

At the beach, Yaroomba

About 5 months ago I stumbled into the worst period of anxiety I've had to deal with since I was a teenager. I struggled to leave the house. I was referred to the acute mental health team for assessment and given a prescription for Valium by my doctor. I discovered that box breathing and cold showers are heaven sent. I listened to music and watched Disney movies until I could almost recite them. All these things helped, but they didn't get me out of the house. They didn't stop me worrying about things and allowing myself to live in the moment. For a time, every time I stepped out the door I was convinced I was going to die, and everything was a threat. I was dealing with unresolved grief and it consumed me.

Power station, Coolum Beach

Since then I've been fighting every day to get back to a somewhat normal life where I'm not afraid to leave the house, and I don't need to take Valium for anxiety attacks. I've also been mostly coffee free for 5 months, and as much as I don't mind decaf, I miss real coffee.

Vintage car, Coolum Beach

Of all the things I've tried in my fight back to normality, only 3 things really help stop my brain from overloading, and allow me to be in the moment. Shooting hoops, making collages, and taking photos. I take a camera or two everywhere I go now. When I'm looking through a camera lens I'm not worrying about anything else. I'm taking in the world. I'm seeing what's really there, and forgetting about the demons in my head.

At the park. Coolum Beach

I can take my toddler for walks to the park, to the beach, to the shops, and not freak out, with a camera around my neck. Because there is always something interesting to see, always something photo worthy.

Every day is still a varying degree of struggle, but photography saves me. It gets me out of the house and allows me to a part of the world. And for that I am thankful I found it.